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Saturday, June 5, 2010

THE MAN RULES

Finally My Husband's Side Of The Story.
(I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

We always hear 'THE RULES' from the female side.

NOW HEAR ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.

1.) Men Are NOT Mind Readers.

2.) Learn To Work The Toilet Seat. You're A Big Girl. If It's Up, Put It Down. We Need It Up, You Need It Down. You Don't Hear Us Complaining About You Leaving It Down.

3.) Crying Is Blackmail.

4.) Ask For What You Want. Let Us Be Clear On This One:
Subtle Hints Do Not Work!
Strong Hints Do Not Work!
Obvious Hints Do Not Work!
Just Say It!

5.) Yes And No Are Perfectly Acceptable Answers To Almost Every Question.

6.) Come To Us With A Problem Only If You Want Help Solving It. That's What We Do. Sympathy Is What Your Girlfriends Are For.

7.) Anything We Said 6 Months Ago Is Inadmissible In An Argument. In Fact, All Comments Become Null And Void After 7 Days.

8.) If You Think You're Fat, You Probably Are. Don't Ask Us.

9.) You Can Either Ask Us To Do Something Or Tell Us How You Want It Done. Not Both. If You Already Know Best How To Do It, Just Do It Yourself.

10.) Whenever Possible, Please Say Whatever You Have To Say During Commercials.

11.) If We Ask What Is Wrong And You Say 'Nothing' We Will Act Like Nothing's Wrong. We Know You Are Lying, But It Is Just Not Worth The Hassle...

12.) If You Ask A Question You Don't Want An Answer To, Expect an Answer You Don't Want To Hear.

13.) Don't Ask Us What We're Thinking About Unless You Are Prepared To Discuss Such Topics As Baseball Or Motor Sports.

You Have Enough Clothes..
You Have Too Many Shoes.
I Am In Shape. ROUND Is A Shape!

Well Thanks For Reading This.
My Husband Will Be Sleeping On The Couch Tonight!
But Did You Know Men Really Don't Mind That? It's Like Camping.

Tell All The Men So You Can Give Them A Laugh.....

Those Men Think Their So Smart But They Can't Live Without US! HA! HA!

5 comments:

  1. That was hilarious! I wouldn't let my husband read it though because he may take it to heart.

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  2. #8 - Ouch
    #9 - I find this to be very true. Every man I know operates like this. They won't guess, we need to tell them exactly what we want done and then they get it.

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  3. Yikes. If a man said almost any of this to me, I would be super offended! I'm so glad my guy isn't like this. I read this to him, and he was offended, too! Haha. Stuff like this gives the good guys a bad rap!

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  4. These are hilarious. I would Ouch the #8 too... LOL

    ReplyDelete